Can your friendship survive the backpacking trip?

One of the worst nights of Phoebe’s life happened in a budget hotel in Panama City.Her and our mutual friend, who had been travelling together (almost) harmoniously for two months, had a drunken argument that led to a door closing on a friendship forever.It was perhaps a case of pot boiling over. Of not having the right conversations when it mattered, of being anxious and tired and losing track of who owed who thirty quid.It was the hardest way she has ever learnt that when you are moving – thro...

Are you dreaming of self-sufficiency or female submission?

A straight, white woman in a hideous dress rolls in the grass with three blonde babies. Her husband fixes a door (or something) whilst she washes dirty carrots in the sink. They hug and kiss in a field surrounded by golden retrievers and their Aryan offspring. The caption reads: “every man’s dream” , “this is all I want” , “the real goal”. Reposted by the worst person you know. In fact, reposted by someone whose last time in the countryside was a year 6 leaver’s trip. If your screentime is anywh...

How to stop limerence 101

The first, probably most relieving thing, that I am going to tell you is that you are not obsessed with Brad, 5’8 from Hinge.You might think you’re obsessed with him. You might spend hours analysing your texts, his Facebook, his mum’s Facebook, your Facebook - but you aren’t obsessed with him. In the most miserable hours of my life, I have really, really wanted a boyfriend. For a long time, I saw a relationship as living proof that I wasn’t as annoying, fat, weird or broken as I thought I was. A...

Vulnerable, Viral and Not a Clue in the World

Long before my mum knew that girls could be neurodivergent, she dealt with some of the greatest meltdowns of the early 2000s. I’m sure the times I lay screaming on the floor of Woolworths were probably picture-worthy, but she never once reached for a digital camera. Now twenty-four, and a neurodivergent content creator myself, I often open my phone to videos of children smacking themselves against car windows, trying ‘fear foods’ for the first time, or crying about being bullied at school. Norma...

how to fit a life between your to-do lists

For a very long time, I have cruelly convinced myself that I am waiting in the wings for my real life to begin. The brand new me is skinny, and organised, disciplined and fun, she has the tidiest bedroom in the world and she definitely exists and is arriving tomorrow as long as I stick to a routine and stop lying around doing nothing.She just needs one more notebook. She just needs one more meal plan.It doesn’t matter what the old me has achieved, all the fun we’ve had or things we’ve seen becau...
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What the 'it will come when you least expect it' crowd aren't telling you

I once got broken up with and took 3 days off work to cry to in my garden. We’d dated for less than six months. I acquired both a tear-streaked tan, and in the years that followed, a life I don’t think I ever really needed that boy to be a part of. For much of my early 20s, I put romantic relationships on a pedestal. Unable to see the wood for the trees, the strength of my friendships, the love of my family, successes and all the things I’ve done seemed like placeholders for the real deal. Roman...

my luteal phase is trying to kill me

It is 2022 in a dark uni room in Southampton, and I am googling the symptoms of Bipolar disorder surrounded by Jaffacakes and ASOS parcels I don’t remember ordering.I hate my life. I hate my friends. I hate this university, and I am not smart enough anyway. I should lose weight. I should dump the boy I’m seeing. I just shouted at my mum on the phone and I don’t know why. I hate the way this top fits and I should go travelling. I should book a flight tomorrow. I’ll quit my job tonight.I become th...